Net Horror Chronicles: Death by Spammed Email

I almost had a cardiac arrest tonight when I checked my alternate email account and discovered to my horror that in only a span of fifteen hours -- FIFTEEN HOURS!!! -- after I last downloaded my emails from that account, that I had 969 emails to download!

I am still struggling to compose myself and stop gawking at my Eudora that's downloading.

Messages left to download: 725

Obviously I have been spammed. Since email number 969, whoever that scumbag spammer with the email address [email address omitted] is, he's managed to send the same email message several hundred times.

Messages left to download: 649

The lowlife's email subject was a notice for address change. He's got it for me bad or he's been having 300 and still going email address changes!

Messages left to download: 606

My first thought just about when I managed to stop myself from letting out a loud scream was my hardrive. While breaking out into a cold sweat, I thought about how fortunate that I cleaned up my hard drive and got rid of all those other useless programs and files.

Messages left to download: 524

This is a major nightmare! I got on tonight with the sole intention of getting some writing done and this scumdodo has got me totally captivated. I mean, how many people are there who get to experience something like what I'm experiencing now? Receiving the same email FIVE HUNDRED times still counting?!?!?

Messages left to download: 447

This is going to go down as the number one Net horror for me in my Net history. All I want to do right now is kill this malicious spammer!

Messages left to download: 396

I thought something like this wouldn't ever happen to me. Getting spammed in a MAJOR way, I mean. The last time I downloaded a humongous amount of email was almost a year ago. I think there was around 2,134 of them just sitting there on my ISP's server after my not having been able to log on and check for two whole weeks.

Messages left to download: 322

That is understandable. Emails accumulating after a long period of absence. But this?!?!? 969 emails in just FIFTEEN HOURS?!?!? This is ridiculous!

Messages left to download: 288

I recall watching that Mel Gibson-Julia Roberts film, The Conspiracy Theory, the other night. Now with this email spam, my overactive, morbid and sometimes paranoid, mind has now gone to overdrive: What if I'm a victim of a grand e-mail spamming conspiracy? What if the spam I'm getting now isn't a random event, but a calculated one? What do I have that this screwball wants? More accurately, what have I done to him?

Messages left to download: 186

Yeah, you guessed it -- 800 plus emails now and it's still from that yoyo. I am beginning to dread having to plow through all that email and delete them manually. Imagine the magnitude of this: I will be clicking 969 times in order to get rid of the spam mail!

Messages left to download: 97

My agony is near its end now. And another one is set to begin. A long night for me tonight. My writing will have to take a backseat tonight because I will not be able to rest until I've gotten read of every bit of email from this madman!

Messages left to download: 59

I have been downloading all 969 emails for almost half an hour now. This is worse than any other physical torture one could ever undergo!

Shutting down POP connection QUIT Messages left to filter: blah-blah Removing messages from server...You have new mail!

I don't think I've ever felt so unexcited about having new mail. Not if the new mail is a single email from a clearly disturbed psychopath who has chosen a very successful ezine editor/writer to victimize! (I am feeling harrassed here so let me indulge in a little ego-boosting description of myself if only to get my mind off this horror in progress!)

I wish I could just type in a command like: /IGNORE $@!%$@^^& or /DELETE $@!%$@^^& on my Eudora. The command works everytime on IRC.

I never thought receiving email is a traumatizing experience. I'm sure never going to look at an email the same way ever again...