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If I Could Reach Up

By Meg R<>

ďIf I could reach up and touch a start for each time youíve made me smile, the entire evening sky would be in the palm of my hand.Ē --Anonymous

I first came upon this quote while I was checking my inbox in my lovemail account. I found it really sweet and nice, so I decided to use it as a signature for my yahoo email account. Friends who email me regularly couldnít help but react on it, another went further and gifted me with a framed version of it, along with her blessing for me to give it to that someone who would fit the bill.

I havenít found that someone yet.

Maricel regularly chides me for it, saying Iím too cautious for my own good when it comes to love. I secretly disagree with her though; fact is, I fall in love way too easily, that sometimes I wonder if itís a character flaw. Case in point: somebody from the office started lavishing me with attention, and like a starving kid I gobble it all up, only to find out straight from him that he's just naturally sweet to all his girl friends, and that he's seeing someone pretty steady. Sidebar: he was supposed to be the subject of March ish's My Blue Room, but of course that little revelation definitely changes everything, so...)

Morale of the story -- it helps to be friends with editors in chief, harharhar. (love ya, S)

The guys I meet, they're all quite disbelieving (I dunno if they really are disbelieving or it's just their brand of mock flattery --whatever) when I say nobody's courting me right now, or I've never had a boyfriend 'til I was 23. They hastily offer explanations, saying it could be that I'm too picky when it comes to guys, etc, etc, etc. I beg to disagree -- my ex-boyfriend was a long way from being Mr. Right, but I was so in love with him friends swear my feet weren't even touching the ground. But far be it for met to discuss IC's many faults and shortcomings, lest I be charged with sourgraping. Anyway, I hope you see my point.

Uh, nonbelievers, you may skip this part -- you might find this too incredulous to be true.

And it's not that something's physically wrong with me -- though I refused to believe it at first (see? I'm quite humble too -- hehehe) -- not a few times did I hear friends, officemates, acquaintances, (as you can see I'm not limiting myself to my immediate family) sometimes complete strangers say to me that I make quite a fetching sight to behold (there, I tried to tone down their adulations about how pretty and sexy and charming I am -- I hope that helped, hmp). A guy or two even went further and went near a courting -- taking me home, calling me regularly. These guys, I wasn't even considering them as prospective boyfriends; but they did not stick around long enough to find out for themselves -- at some point they just give up. It's probably the "keep-off" signals they get from me, but hey, Rhett Butler suffered several put-offs from Scarlett O' Hara, but still he persisted, and he managed to get her for a wife (the fact that they did not have a happy ending in Gone With the Wind is an entirely different story). And besides, I reason out, if these guys really had some pretty serious feelings for me in the first place, then it should have been stronger than their fear of being rejected.

So why am I not with someone right now, you may ask.

Beats me.

This column is reserved for the exhibition of every Gen-Xer's angsts, views, opinions, and such, on things, stuff or issues worth writing about, whether they be experienced in real life or here on cyberspace. Views and opinions on this column are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of the editors of WIRED! Philippines (although we might find ourselves nodding occasionally).

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